Ever heard of a situationship? If you’re in one, here’s how to get over a situationship. Everything you need to know in one post.
What is a situationship? And how to get over a situationship?
A situationship is one where two people are in a romantic partnership without assigning it an official status. Confusing? Okay, let’s put it this way: you have feelings for each other but aren’t in a relationship yet, because one of you (or both of you) don’t want to commit to one another.
Why? If two people love each other, why not make it official?
There are many different reasons when it comes to these situations. It could be an age difference. It could be that you live too far away from each other. Nowadays more and more people don’t find the need to be in a relationship despite seeing other people and having romantic attractions.
Some people just love to be alone, some people love the non-committal lifestyle, and that’s alright. What we all have in common is that we all love. But everyone is different, and you might not be one of those people who can stay in a situationship – that’s also okay.
But if you one day find yourself in a situationship in which you want it to turn into a relationship but the other person doesn’t want to be in one, then…. I don’t know what else to say than that sucks. It’s one thing to have feelings for someone, it’s another thing to have feelings for someone yet unable to do anything about it.
How do you know you’re in a situationship?
There are signs that show that you are in a situationship. To tell you the truth, most Friends With Benefits (FWB) are situationships filled with people in denial. The signs are clear to the people outside of the situationship, but you might not see it. One good tip would be to ask your friend. Here’s some others;
- You have a habit that’s only for the two of you.
- There are things you or they do for you that wasn’t asked for. (Has to be something specific).
- You’ve built a schedule with them unconsciously.
- You can sit, lay down, do anything together in silence.
- You don’t need to ask permission to go to their house anymore.
- They buy you gifts for no special occasion.
This also applies vice versa.
You may be thinking about how it’s not true, or how you do that only because you care about them- but that’s exactly my point. You care about them enough to get out of your way and do something for them, spend your time, make an effort on something. If they do that for you too then you both have feelings for each other, just without the title.
So you’re in a situationship… Now what?
Once you’ve established that you are in a situationship, what happens next, exactly? Well that is up to you. Do you want to try and take the next step with them? Do you think they’ll want to take the next step with you? It’s a difficult situation to be in (I’ve been there), and talking about it helps make these thoughts go away.. though it might or might not go the way you’d want it to.
Talk to them about your expectations, about your thoughts. If you think you’re ready for a relationship with them, tell them. If you think you both are getting too comfortable, tell them. You want your partner to be someone who’d understand you, even if you’re not in a relationship. In order for the situationship to work, you need to be on the same page.
How to get over a situationship
If you had a difference in opinion and decided that it’s best you stop the situationship you’ve been having then.. it’s time to move on. Don’t just brush it off, you probably had feelings for them and it’s hard to get rid of those feelings. You’ll need time to feel sad, feel all the emotions, and you’ll feel like you lost someone you truly cared about.
But once you get over that part, you’ll see that there is so much more out there. It’s easy for me to say that because I’m out of that part, but trust me when I tell you it’s a long process. You’ll find yourself longing for them, wanting to go back and feel their touch, but knowing that you can’t. It sucks, it truly does.
The best thing you can do for yourself now is to put yourself first, hang out with other friends, go do your hobby, do that thing you’ve never been able to do but have always wanted to, and take care of yourself. It’s cliché that all heartbreak will lead to self-love, but you are the one person who will never ever leave you and will always love you.