A trip with an ex already sounds like it could go wrong, but Jamie Wang finds herself in a stickier situation…
Go visit → downapp.com to get yourself a date tonight 💞
A trip with an ex already sounds like it could go wrong, but Jamie Wang finds herself in a stickier situation… What exactly happened on this trip?
Listen to the podcast and find out!
Jamie Wang – Standup Comedian ✨
Jamie: My name is Jamie, and one word to describe my craziest sexual experience would be exposing, but maybe a little bit too much.
Colin and Michael laughs.
Stella: How much is too much?
Jamie: So it happened in Iceland when I was having a breakup sex with my Portuguese ex boyfriend. Because we were, like, doing a long distance relationship and it didn’t work. But we already planned this trip to Iceland before we broke up.
Michael: Why do people do this? Hahah go ahead.
Jamie: Because I traveled from China to Europe to study. So if I don’t do this – the plane ticket from China to Iceland is very expensive. But I was studying in Belgium, so it’s cheaper to fly from Belgium to Iceland. And I really want to visit it, so why not? I know, like, Iceland is like a place for honeymoon or something. But we just went there for the breakup. So we went to this very fancy, beautiful Airbnb. It was a very cute cottage. After like six days of camping or something like that. Why do guys just really like to do camping? I don’t know why. And I was really done with it. And so I was so excited to live in to be in Airbnb. Finally. We got like, beds, we got everything. We got food, we got shower. Not like a concentration camp anymore.
Colin: All the basics.
Jamie: Everything was so great. And so the other day, we just woke up really late. We were, like cooking together and then watch the Netflix. And then we just decided to have sex because the airbnb was so fancy. Like, the living room is really huge. And we got like this huge window. It’s like a floor to ceiling window. So basically the living room is just transparent. And outside it was a little farm. So there were, like horses and shit. Sorry. Okay, so there were, like, horses. So it’s just really like really close to nature. It’s just liberating. So we did it. So we were like on the couch and facing the window and the horses.
Michael: This whole idea. We just decided to have sex. It was like, should we play checkers? Are you hungry? Never mind. Let’s just have sex. It doesn’t sound that romantic, even with the horses window. I don’t know.
Jamie: And it gets so liberating. Like it’s nature and you just want to expose yourself, you know.
Stella: Were the horses watching?
Jamie: Yes, I think so. But they just find their own business, which really hurt my feelings. I don’t feel confident about my body.
Michael: How do you think your ex boyfriend felt about his body in front of the horses? If you really think about it.
Jamie: So, yeah, we were doing like doggy style because then the both parties can have field of view. You know, he can look at my ass and I can look at the beautiful horses-
Colin: He saw your ass and you saw the horse’s ass.
Jamie: Hahahah, but yeah, we were having sex. And then we just saw this car driving slowly towards our direction.
Michael: Towards you.
Jamie: Towards us. Yes.
Michael: Go ahead.
Jamie: And it seems like it’s coming to our house because there’s nothing else there. So it might just be the landlord. I just believe.
Michael: Was he holding his sign, like going like, nice moves or something or no, he was just driving towards the house?
Jamie: He was just driving towards because it was time to check out already.
Michael: Oh my God.
Jamie: And we forgot because we were like, really just enjoying the text. And we forgot the text.
Michael: So the landlord actually rocked up to the house.
Jamie: Yeah, there’s no way I’m going to stay with him. Let his places together be naked. No, I’m fled outside. I just went to the bedroom.
Colin: I thought you meant you fled outside with the horses. Like running naked outside.
Jamie: No, No. So I just went to the bathroom and it was just my ex boyfriend dealing with it. Like, there were condoms, there were lube, there were everything. And I was just, like, hiding in the room. And the landlord just went back. And then he was like, oh, I didn’t expect it. You were supposed to check out, like at 12:00. It’s 04:00 p.m. Now.
Michael: It’s 04:00 p.m.. And you guys forgot.
Jamie: Then he was just like, maybe I just give you a few minutes. And he just left to let us finish ordering.
Colin: So he gave you a few minutes to finish up or to clean up? There’s a difference.
Jamie: To clean.
Colin: Aw. That’s a bummer.
Michael: What did your boyfriend do? Did he put pillows in front of himself? Or did he get a scene in a movie where he’s struggling to get his pants on because your parents are coming home? Like, what was he doing? Or was he just standing in her naked going like, yeah, here’s my credit card.
Jamie: I think he at least pull up his pants. That’s the only thing he did. Oh, I wish I’d been there for that. Is that your kink??
Colin: One of many.
Michael: Yeah, you say it like there’s only one. No, it’s the interesting part is the discomfort that the owner has, that the landlord has just the guy rocking up to the house. It’s what we call a picture window. So he can see from far enough away. He’s like, she’s not looking for her contacts. He knows. And he’s still driving up. No. Weren’t you surprised? Weren’t you surprised when he just kept coming towards the house?
Jamie: Because we were not sure if you saw it or not. I was like, maybe. I didn’t know. Maybe he just told me were like,
Michael: I think the horses were probably texting him. I think they’re doing it now.
Colin: Or the security camera he had in the living room, maybe.
Jamie: Oh, my God, I hope not.
Michael: Tell me you haven’t thought about that yet. So what was it like when you left? You and your boyfriend too, like, when this was over? So he pays the bill, which I think is hilarious.
Jamie: We never saw the landlord again. I think it’s too old, he never came back, we just check out ourselves and put the money on the table.
Michael: What did your boyfriend do to kind of you know what I mean? Get rid of his frustration.
Jamie: He was just like he’s saying we should have, like finished.
Colin: Ah, great minds thinking alike.
Jamie: That’s exactly what I was thinking.
Michael: That was my question, actually. What did you do? So what did you do after that? You broke up and you went home. You’re just like, hey, thanks for having sex with me in front of horses and the guy who owns the place.
Jamie: Yeah, it was like the last day of our trip, so we still have three days. And then we broke up. I went back to Belgium and he went back to Portugal.
Michael: You know, he’s still telling that story. I feel like I’ve heard that story on the Internet already.
Jamie: Yeah, probably he was bragging about it.
Colin: I saw the video. Yeah.
Michael: I’m telling you, those were good looking horses.
Jamie: Yeah, especially the black ones.
Michael: Ooooh nice. I think it’s time to end this recording.
Colin: I just applaud both of you because getting out nature is very liberating. I get it. I hope that landlord really has a story for himself as well. Maybe he took the inspiration from you too.
Michael: Yeah, maybe he turned it into a text room. Not was a killer story. Thank you, Jamie.
Colin: All right. Thanks, Jamie.