Ever had a man avoid you? You thought he felt the same, but clearly he doesn’t. But why do men do this? Is there a reason.
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Men are scared of love. It’s a fact. They’ll tell you they’re not, but I’m here to tell you: they are.
And it’s okay! Love can be terrifying, even for the most self-assured among us. And when you’re a man who isn’t sure about his own feelings—who isn’t sure about what he wants, or how to make himself vulnerable enough to actually get it—you can bet your bottom dollar that love is going to freak him out.
So why do men pull away from the people they care about? Why do they avoid love at all costs? And how can we help them overcome their fear? These are all questions worth asking, and they’re all questions that deserve answers.
Here are three reasons men avoid love:
1. They’re scared of rejection
Men are scared of rejection. We know this because we’ve seen it happen over and over again, and it’s not something that just happens in movies or TV shows.
But why? Why would men be afraid to ask for a date? Why would they be afraid to ask for what they want? And why does it make them look so tough on the outside?
It’s all because of how they were raised. In our society, boys are taught from an early age that being strong means never showing fear or weakness. That being strong means never asking for help when it’s needed. That being strong means you don’t need anyone else—you can do everything yourself!
So when you see a man who is seemingly fearless, who seems so confident in himself, who seems like he has it all together… he might actually just be scared as hell underneath it all.
We’re here because we care about you guys—we want you to feel better about yourselves and realize that there’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable sometimes (in fact, there’s everything right with it). We want you to feel comfortable opening up about your emotions without feeling embarrassed or ashamed of them.
2. They don’t know how to ask for what they want without being rude or aggressive
They don’t know how to get affection without being seen as weak.
When you’re a man, it’s easy to feel like you have to keep up a certain image: stoic, strong—the kind of guy who doesn’t need anything from anyone else. But that’s not really true. We all need things from each other—and sometimes those things are big and scary things like love and affection.
But sometimes they’re little things too: help with the dishes, or a good night out with friends. That’s why it’s so important for men to be able to ask for these things—and why it’s so important for women to understand what it means when we don’t get them.
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It’s not that we don’t want them or need them; it’s just that we’ve been conditioned not to ask for them in the first place! If a woman wants something from her partner but doesn’t get it, she’ll probably just assume he doesn’t care about her enough—but if he wants something from her but doesn’t get it, he’ll probably just assume that she has no interest in him at all!
3. They don’t want to get hurt again
It’s not that they don’t want to be with you, or that they don’t want to commit to you—they just fear that if they do, they’ll end up getting hurt again. This can make them seem distant or aloof, when really they’re just trying to protect themselves from the pain of being vulnerable.
They’ve been burned before and it’s left them scarred. They’ve had their hearts broken and feel like they can never be fully open again. For some men, this is because the person who hurt them was a significant other; for others, it could have been a family member or friend who betrayed them in some way. It doesn’t matter what happened—the point is that something did happen that caused these men to close themselves off from love and intimacy for a long time after.
And now here you are: someone new who wants to get close enough to this guy that he can finally trust again. But until he feels safe enough with YOU (and only YOU), he won’t be able to show his true colors—the soft, vulnerable side of him that wants nothing more than someone who will hold him close when things get tough and give him the encouragement he needs.
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Ultimately, we hope you’ve been able to see that there’s no one-size-fits-all explanation for why men pull away. We know it can be confusing and upsetting when you’re trying to read the signs he’s sending you. But if you keep in mind that his pulling away is usually just a sign of his commitment issues, it might help you feel a little less anxious about what it means.
If he doesn’t want to commit, then he isn’t going to commit—and that’s okay! It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough or pretty enough or interesting enough; it just means that he’s not ready for something serious right now. Either way, the most important thing is that you don’t let yourself get stuck in a cycle of obsessing over what this means about him and your relationship in general.
Instead, try focusing on what makes YOU happy: go out with friends more often than usual; take up a hobby; start working out again; whatever helps you feel like yourself again after being with someone who made you feel bad.
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