30 Funny Sex Quotes You Can Send Her Tonight

Looking for some action tonight? Something funny might actually help you with that. Here’s some funny sex quotes that surprisingly work!

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30 Funny Sex Quotes You Can Send Her Tonight

Usually you don’t send someone funny sex quotes when you want to have sex, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. In fact, the funnier the better! Funny sex quotes actually work, and girls actually do love funny guys! Here are some funny sex quotes that you can send your partner so that she’ll be in the mood (if she wasn’t already).

Funny Sex Quotes

  • Sex is like math; you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don’t multiply.
  • You remind me of my toe… Sooner or later, I’m gonna bang you on the table.
  • trEAT HER right. (could I have made that more obvious?)
  • I don’t have a dirty mind, I just have a sexy imagination.
  • I really need a hug that will turn into sex right now.
  • There’s a sale at my house; clothes are 100% off.

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  • Want to come over and watch porn on my flat screen mirror?
  • If sex is off the table, how about the bed?
  • Currently sexually destroying you in my head.
  • They say sex is the best form of cardio.
  • Life is like sex; lie back and get screwed or get on top and ride the hell out of it.
  • When it comes to doggystyle, I’m behind you 100%
  • Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

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  • I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
  • Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked. With a leather whip. Forcing me to say yes Mistress.
  • I need a cocktail. Without the tail.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m using my hand but I’m thinking of you.
  • Don’t do it behind your garden gate. Love is blind but your neighbors ain’t!
  • Let’s try having sex before we rush into dating.

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  • The sex was so good that even my neighbors went out for a cig.
  • A great way to spice up our sex life would be to have sex.
  • Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
  • I don’t like being told what to do unless I’m naked. I’ll obey anything you say.
  • I licked it. So it’s mine.

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  • Every couple fights. Just make sure the make-up sex lasts longer than the actual fights.
  • Want to play wrestle that leads to sex?
  • Roses are red, grass is green. I want you in my bed, if you know what I mean.
  • F_ck. All I need is U.
  • I don’t feel like doing anything today. Except you. I’d do you any day.
  • Science says sex reduces stress. I’m heavily stressed right now… care to help me out?

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